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Abyssus Abyssum invocat

May. 7th, 2006 12:18 am Annoyed

I don't want to run into specifics here, because it would be as depressing to type for me as it could be boring for poeple to read, life sucks.. at times it feels as if the harder you try the worse you get slapped in the face.. or patted on the cheek while someone comments "nice try."

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May. 1st, 2006 08:40 am Stolen from a friend and meant as a warning! :)

-- I've never played WoW personnally, but would have gotten sucked in if it did not have continental seperated game zones. so I guess I escaped it. But I got addicted to EQ badly a long moment at least a year in my life, and currently have gotten into GW. hopefully this post will help me not to fall into the gaming trap again to the extent I was.--


Blizzard doesn't care about gamers.

Blizzard does not care about gamers.

When I say that, I almost feel like the Kanye West of gamers, standing on tv with some drooling white moron pointedly telling people the truth.

I hope no one out there is under any illusions.

I'm not much of a gamer, to be honest my favorite type of games are still space invaders type things. Yes, give me a ship and tell me to shoot things - that would keep me entertained for hours. Pong did too.

I had all but stopped gaming a few years back, but I made an exception for Diablo 2 and it's expansion. I wish I hadn't. When I discovered online diablo gaming, I got sucked in, big time. For some reason those games are addictive, I know the mechanics behind it, I just don't understand why it works, why it's so easy to train your brain into giving you a chemical reward for accomplishing things in a virtual environment. Is real life lacking so much?

I lost nearly a year of my life to Diablo 2.

Yes, I may have done a lot in that year, but it was done to a background of playing a shoddy, repetative game.

Yes, I would still go to gigs and get drunk, but it was done to a background of playing the digital version of crack.

Before I go on to explain why Blizzard does not care about gamers, why it is a great evil that must be stomped by the jackboot of sanity. I will just outline something that irks me.

I don't like MMORPGS.

If I ruled the world, I would outlaw them and make people who objected work the fields.
They are insidious contraptions of filth designed to suck people in, to grind away for hours - first gaining levels and then gaining items - the storys, are poorly written, hollow, bastardised from the wider world of fantasy fiction to just a point where they can't get sued. As a writer, if I ever happened across the people who for instance, wrote World of Warcraft, I'd be hard pushed not to wrench their kidneys out their asshole. Which is pretty much how I feel about Cory Doctorow. But that asides, we all know how addictive they are, Everquest and other mmorpgs were and are a rising percentage on the list of reasons given for marriage break-ups.

So they're addictive.

What really pisses me off about them is the fact that the masses addicted to them view it as some sort of medal of honor.
Sitting around on forums, in game, in real life, patting themselves on the back about it.

You don't see heroin addicts meeting each other and grinning and cheerfully saying "Yeah hehe I've been addicted to heroin for five years, isn't the third year really great."

"Well I liked my tenth best actually."

You goddamn soulless morons.

I swear, such denial and idiocy, when the revolution comes, you won't be the first against the wall because you won't make it to the wall, those like me will have killed you with giddy excitement on the walk to your holding pens.

It's a simple concept.

It's an addiction and it's unhealthy.

Anyway,

Back to Blizzard.

Blizzard incase you don't know has strode the game world for the last few worlds like a collossus made of paper mache assholes.
It's latest netherspawn is World of Warcraft and yes, I'm addicted to the game and yes this is all the intricate process of beating the addiction.
I swore, I swore up and down I would never play another mmorpg after Diablo, I swore till I was blue in the face, I lambasted others for getting sucked into them, I shook my fist and took the oath of Thor that goddamnit my bones would be dust before I happened to play another mmorpg.

Of course - then I was going through a hard time and desperate to get my hands on Call of Cthulu for the Xbox - a friend had come over with it, I have a love for Lovecraft bordering on the homoerotic, so I figured, going through a hardtime, nothing sucks you away from reality like a good game.

Trust me on this.

Nothing works like a good game.

I've tried all the drugs.
I've drank my share, your share, your friends share and I'm still drinking that hobo's share.
Don't worry, he won't miss it.
I killed him.

The only problem was, nowhere sold the game, well nowhere in my immediate vicinity. The game shop I ended up in sold only playstation and pc games, desperate for something, anything, I could not leave without a game, I bought world of warcraft.

I had sworn I wouldn't.
I had stuck it out for a year and not bought the infernal thing.

I wish I hadn't.

Don't get me wrong, WoW is beautiful game, truly, beautiful. Designed visually with a lot of love.
The story however reminds me of drinking warm dog vomit. Although worse, more insipid. I'm telling you, a room full of monkies could have written something better.
The quests are only interesting during the very early stages before they fade off into the boring and repetative.
But, it sucks you in, like some sort of parasitic infection it writhes its way into your nervous system, fleshy tendrils fastooning themselves around your spine as it sinks its feeding tube into your cortex.

There are glitches in the game and the gamers have offered until they're blue in the face to help Blizzard fix them. No Joy.

The policies are quite laughable.

I'm sure you're all aware of the hype about their blatant homophobia with toward guilds.

But that's not all.

I had my first run in with Blizzard quite quickly.
I had the word Wookie - which is not Wookiee (ala Star Wars). There seemed to be no problem with this on the realm I played on (a roleplay realm in Europe) until a busybody decided to message me and berate me for several hours to report myself for my name?
For well over two hours, they tried every bullying and harassment tactic in the book about my name. I refused to ticket myself and I didn't want to ticket them.
I logged on the next to find a window about changing my name, I changed the wookie to Wukie (I have never had a problem about this oddly enough). Upon finding this little busybody bully had actually got their way, I made a ticket in game (a ticket being like a report to the in-game help) regarding the harassment and bullying I had suffered at this person's hands.
The response I got?
When I finally got a response, I was lamely patted on the head and told to get over it and told that Blizzard would look into the matter - nothing more.
Oh yes, I was told that I could report names if I wanted.
Hm, so it's fine for people to go around with names robbed blatantly from every modern source, but I have Wookie (not Wookiee) in my name and they reward someone for telling and harassing me by forcing me to change my name?

That's just great that is, Blizzard supports people bullying other people and ratting other people out, Big Blizzard, the national socialist gaming company for you.

Now before I go on, I should explain that a large part of this game and most games like it, is the finding of rare items.
Some of these items have a .0001% chance in dropping in like 10,000 kills of said monster.
Now that, is rare.

To highlight Blizzard's general ineptitude and lack of any giving a single damn about gamers, I shall highlight two issues here.
Firstly, they, it seems, cannot even be bothered to be like other mmorpg game companies and keep in game logs of events. These logs are essential, if something goes wrong, the company is supposed to be able to review them and rectify a mistake, like say give you an item that you lost through a game glitch.

An item dropped for me during a ten player run on a certain area of the game, the item has an extremely low percentage of dropping. I had disconnected and reconnect mid-fight. It was found, when the monster was dead, that they couldn't give me the item. So three people, including myself, made complaint tickets to blizzard. After several hours, they finally contacted me.
First off, they did not treat me with any care - that possibly I was a customer and upset something had gone wrong, no they treated me like I was already guilty of lying to them to somehow con them out of an item, that I need to be investigated to prove I am innocent.

It takes them a while, three days or so to finally reach their conclusion.

The conclusion being, no, I'm not getting the item, thank you.

A nice little feature blizzard have set into the game is one where you seem to be unable to save the in-game emails blizzard help staff send you. I haven't figured out why they would do this, but it does certainly seem odd.

I decide that this isn't good enough and pursue Blizzard only to be told first, there is no record of the item dropping, after their support person apologises for not having enough training to deal with the matter, I finally find out, that Blizzard has not only no record of the drop, but no record of the kill. Which can only be because Blizzard does not keep logs and if they do, its a spotty half assed operation they could give two damns about.

They could have told me this from the beginning, I could have tried to get the ten people there to ticket them. But no.
I asked if I provided a screen shot of the item drop, no that doesn't work either

That's it then, nowt, I have scant chance of seeing the item again unless I waste my timing running the same monster maybe 30-40 times?

And I pay these people?

To be guilty until proven innocent?

To be treated with a pat on the head?

To be sidelined against obviously harassing bullies with too much time on their hands?

To be apologised to because their staff aren't trained well enough?

To be told only half the truth half of the time until I drag the rest out with a pliers?

I get mad...

You would...

I start growling about this in game and begin to hear a sluice of horror stories, people losing items rarer than mine, some with .001% of dropping, getting a neat little email back spouting some tired nonsense about oh well if we gave you the item we'd have countless others coming for even rarer items with the icing of the cake - a html embedded advertisement for their new expansion...

Not one to lie down.

Not one to take shit, ever, from anyone.

I phone Blizzard about a refund, I send in a written complaint...

I get the same shit, because we cannot verify this, because we don't have logs, because we didn't care enough to fucking insure we kept logs, no, you don't get it.

No...

Sorry

You don't get it.

One day, just one day, whoever you are, you piss the wrong person off. It's not much, sometimes you just get a punch in the mouth, many times it comes back to you in numerous ways - perhaps the person ruins your reputation in a social circle, perhaps something worse. Whatever happens, its like a karmic viral cancer that echoes back and forth.

Granted, I don't have the same sort of access people like Cory Doctorow have to grandstand their problems.
I can't post on my journal like Neil Gaiman and get several hundred responses.

What I do have is the ability to hold and burn a grudge for an unholy amount of time.

What I am doing is changing people one person at a time.

So far there is a good ten people who will never play your game.

That's what I intend to do, stand on the street corner and shout,maybe not all will hear me, but some will, the disaffected, the wounded, the jaded addicts, whatever whoever.
All that matters is that the message gets through.

Blizzard does not care about gamers.

Don't give Blizzard your money, don't waste your cash on digitally signing a docuement with unrealistic stipulations - Blizzard demands much of the gamer - you can't buy gold, you can't sell your account, you must play the game by what Blizzard decides is fair.
No, no, hold up there - if Blizzard doesn't play fair - why should you?

Buy gold.
Sell accounts, buy accounts.
Fix the player versus player battlegrounds.
Cheat, lie and steal.

Do it because Blizzard has already decided that's what you do.
Do it because Blizzard will do the same back to you.
Do it because their terms of playing are due to be trashed in a courtroom very soon.
Do it because they are lying to you.

There is nothing more I hate than organisations standing up to lie bold faced to the masses about the morals they stand for - while they fleece your pockets to make a quick buck.

Blizzard does not care about gamers.

Know that, the money you pay monthly does not afford you anything, no services bar the updates (which happened with Diablo for free, regardless - so we know they have it in them).

Know that, once you reach a certain level, there are no safety catches in place to prevent the game from glitching on you and ruining the several hours you have spent accomplishing something.

You might as well construct a small altar of Diablo, Diablo 2 and Warcraft boxes and burn money in front of it.

That is the equivilant of what you are doing by giving these scumbags money.

You would not gamble in a casino where if the dealer dealt you an ace, he was able to take it back from your hand and say "Whoops I fumbled the deal - sorry, I have to take that back"

Why do the same with these people?

Are your lives so damn empty?

Are that many of you actually hiding away from a problem, from actually living, that you will honestly pay people for nothing?

If that is the case...

If you are that weak...

Just remember,

Blizzard does not care about you, it does not care about gamers, what you think is a sham, all they want is your money, if they could get away with it, they'd sell you empty boxes and feed you shit on your own tab.

If you're not weak...

If you see and are disgusted by it - then fucking do something, you don't have to do anything major, work it down to one person at a time - these games aren't healthy, they suck people in just as bad as any drug, they wreck lives under the illusion of some sort of underground gamer kudos.

One person at a time.

Stop them.

Stop everyone you know.

Tell them.

The words alone, are the least you would do for a friend slipping into alcoholism or heroin addiction, they should be the least you would do for someone hobbling along on a crutch that isn't even tangible, that they have let train their brain into giving them chemical rewards for things that do not exist.

Two hundred years ago, we'd have locked these people away.

Now we provide them with space to pat each other on the back at how addicted they are.

This must stop.

If it does not stop - we will end up in a situation similar to the 'Better Than Life' game in the Red Dwarf books.

They don't care about you.

They will pass off a shoddy half finished product, a shiny can of coke that has a beautiful tin yet no liquid, they will patch together any old garbage aslong as you are willing to smile and nod at them like a happy lonely puppy and keep shelling out money.

It needs to end.

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Feb. 19th, 2006 03:07 am

I'm getting operated the 23th march..both looking forward to it and dreading it, as it's going to be the first time i get operated. it is before my bday so i'll at least be rid of it before a new year starts.

Of late I feel like a mess or something, I get pissed off at everything and everyone and not very tolerant, either. I hate feeling like that. and if i hear any more "at least you have a good health and a home" and whatever crap i'll just bite :P

Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: Gold - Elle dit j'imagine

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Feb. 3rd, 2006 09:13 pm Who would have thought it ? /sarcasm on

HASH(0x8f387a0)
You're Brigitte Bardot!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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Jan. 29th, 2006 08:10 pm *mmhms*

Seeing the doc again on tomorrow morning, I know things went worse over last year according to the exams results I have in hand now but I'm not sure how to interpret that, it should enlighten me a bit.. kind of scares me off.
I'm still rather annoyed at things but it is getting slowly better, I think it has a lot to do with a seasonnal depression.. I also did not feel like talking about it. I wish there was a way for me to spend half the year in the south and then north hemispharies. In dec I did not even want to do things, now I do and see more people and all, as if exiting some sort of hibernation.

I wish I didn't live in 2006 even if this time has some advantages, the gimmicks of "communication" and "information" and so on, life seems to have been better for people in the 60's or 50's, I should have lived then.

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Dec. 31st, 2005 03:06 pm Merry Christmas! (I think not) - chronicle of a failed family

One of my sisters got married and lives in england in surrey, being psycho-rigid she decided they'd spend a year out of two christmas with us and the other year with her hubby"s family, this year was our family's time but they couldn't come supposedly because of his work so invited us over. I didn't want to come because it was a 4 days long trip with all the inconvenients of being packed in a small place with one's whole family but was eventually baited because it "was so close from london I could reach easily with the trains and the sales start everywhere at 50 % on the 26th" and thought I'd have a lot of time spending eves at the pub, too; I was leaving back for france on the 27th. Fine so I came there thinking the fun would be worth the annoyment at the family holiday which is supposed to be one of merryment or whatever but in my family, barely is.
My younger sister had arrived there a week ago for some vacation, normally her and the other sister get along great.

I guess Christmas itself passed the same kind of disappointing way I was excepting it to, the one thing I was happy to do, give a present to my 3 1/2 years old nephew was kind of ruined because the idiots who live in their neighborhood brought tons of presents for the kids - of which I wonder if they're just particularily odd in this area or if most brits do that?-..where is the fun in giving a toy to a kid who receives like maybe 15 different things that day? He's surely too young to realize this yet but if it is like this each year, I wonder what kind of kid that will become. On the 24th we had what we call a reveillon and on the 25th a long ass meal my sister insisted on preparing entirely herself, as she is the kind who won't let people help her and then complains about doing everything on her own..fine with me, i preferred to play with the kids than having to deal with some idiot who hassled my mother about how she can't turn a turkey around in an oven the right way (!) It's almost fun in a way. The lunch lasted 5 hours in total, I counted. All this filled with some totally meaningless chat a group of strangers would have been ashamed to have and would have surely filled with good arguments about politics or maybe telling about their lives.

Then once it was over I thought I could go to the train station to check the train times to take one of the earliest ones to go to london the day after, after a walk what do I find out though.. there are

NO TRAINS RUNNING ON THE 25TH AND 26TH DEC IN THIS AREA

so.. kind of panic *chuckles* we return to their place and manage to find a way to get 'em to let us use their oh so precious comp (oddly each time it isn't used they put it carefully on a shelf and put the thing that receives the wi-fi flux into a cupboard maniacally, you'd wonder what happens if they put the item elsewhere.)- did I mention they're very careful that their guests never use the comp without feeling they are a nuisance, nor can they watch a TV program of their choice hahah. And I spent maybe 2 hours to find out there 1) are no trains. not only in the town but no where in stupid Surrey that i can find about or which go to london 2) are no rental cars left, I can maybe book one for next year though :P .. so at this point think the only option is to take a cab which would surely cost a leg and eye. Fortunately eventually find out there is a shuttle going from gatwick to london, it sucks because it is long and I need my sister to drive me to the airport but is better than being stranded into this small town one more day.
The 26th - was kind of ok, two hours to go through the traffic jams to Victoria's station, then I explored the town a bit and found some nice stuff on regent st.. why is it guys seem to be amused or just flat out laugh when I tell them what I found :P, I had to return very early because someone had to pick me up at the airport. (the irony is I was glad to take the eurostar rather than the plane that time and i still had to go close to an airport two times. grr) to be around world war III between the two sisters who got along. So I think everyone agrees they never want to be around my sister's place anytime soon, not in these conditions at least.. I was very happy to leave tey day after, we all got a bit scared because a bit of snow was falling and apparently for brits most trains get cancelled or delayed then, so we thought we might miss the eurostart and get stranded there..horror.

I think next year I'll try to not celebrate xmas at all but I know I'll find myself stuck into some family stuff again but..at least hopefully it won't take 4 days.
When it was taking place it seemed so horrible but now at least it is behind me and I guess I can look back and laugh about it.

Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Coldplay - Politik

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Dec. 21st, 2005 02:54 am stolen!!!! blame Stuff_Sucks!

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.

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Dec. 10th, 2005 05:13 pm Fuck him

...I still see somewhat through a flurry of anger even as if seeing red one year afterwards giving or taking a few. What the fuck makes you think you can message me and go on with your shitty pathetic attempt to tell me you miss how we were friends ? and disconnect before I can stop ranting ?...

Good thing I see some people tonight so they should be able to make me think about something else.Grr.

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Nov. 30th, 2005 01:13 am Vatican rules against gay priests

Staff and agencies
Tuesday November 29, 2005


Pope Benedict XVI blesses pilgrims during his weekly general audience in St Peter's Square at the Vatican. Photograph: Vincenzo Pinto/AFP/Getty Images.



The Vatican today published its long-awaited statement on homosexuals and the priesthood, affirming that those with "deep-seated" gay tendencies should not be ordained.
The document also bans supporters of gay culture from entering the priesthood, but says that men who have "overcome" their homosexuality for at least three years would be accepted as priests.

The instruction from the Vatican does not affect men who are already priests but only those entering seminaries to prepare for the priesthood. Gay rights groups say this may force new clergy members to hide their homosexuality, burying the issue rather than confronting it.

Pope Benedict XVI approved the document at the end of August, but it was only officially released after it was leaked on an Italian Catholic news agency website last week.
The document confirms the Catholic church's view that deep-seated homosexual tendencies are "objectively disordered" and "grave sins". It also says heads of seminaries have a serious duty to see to it that candidates for the priesthood do not "present disturbances of a sexual nature which are incompatible with the priesthood".

Critics say the instruction may alienate gay men who would make excellent priests and would be able to honour their vow of celibacy.

"Having worked with bishops and priests, diocesan and religious, all over the world, I have no doubt that God does call homosexuals to the priesthood, and they are among the most dedicated and impressive priests I have met," wrote Father Timothy Radcliffe, former master of the Dominican order, in the British Catholic weekly paper, the Tablet.

"And we may presume that God will continue to call both homosexuals and heterosexuals to the priesthood because the church needs the gifts of both," he wrote.

Campaigners say the restrictions may create moral problems for existing gay priests and lead to a drop in new priests entering the clergy. There is already a shortage of priests in the US.

They also warn that the Catholic church is using gay men as scapegoats for its sex abuse scandals. In 2002, a wide network of sexual abuse of teenage boys by priests in the US was revealed.

Conservative Catholics have welcomed the document, saying it is an important step in the reform of the priesthood, particularly in the US.

George Weigel, a leading American lay theologian, said the church was obliged "to make sure the men it ordains are capable of living lives of celibate chastity".

In Britain, gay rights groups condemned the ruling. Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, said: "It's deeply sad that the Vatican should be indulging in this offensive posturing.

"Expressions of prejudice by church leaders both abroad and in Britain validate the discrimination that gay people face on a daily basis. The death of Jody Dobrowski on Clapham Common in south London last month is the sort of thing that happens when homophobia of this sort goes unchallenged."

Current Mood: nauseatedand furious
Current Music: Gary Jules - Mad World

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Nov. 28th, 2005 08:03 pm what's going on

Well... not too sure, really.. I think I'm hitting a low because of tiredness and november both combined... I hate this season.. If I hear any more bullshit like what Bruno tells me each time about how it's just a setting of mind to be able to feel happy when it's cold, rainy, and your day looks like a night time I'll just bitch slap him..hehe

at any rate... the things that happen to me...these past weeks I don't feel so much like writing about them... I guess I will do it again in some time...

I'm not sure if this is depression again, like I had in the past.. or just seasonnal.

Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: firehouse

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